Andy Fierens

Andy Fierens is a hyperenergetic Belgian poet and performer with more than 1,500 shows under his belt. He fires his sharp and witty words loud and relentlessly at audiences all over the world, from France to Canada, via Japan and South Africa. In 2009 he debuted with the collection Big Filthy Butterfly, which was awarded the Herman de Coninck debut prize. His latest collection of poetry was Wonderbras & Pepperspray (2014). Together with Michael Brijs he wrote the sci-fi novel Astronaut of Orange. Dutch newspaper De Groene Amsterdammer hailed him as “the only poet who has stayed true to his punk roots.” When he is not on the road on his own, he can also be found performing with his band Andy & The Androids or with his choir The Horny Bazookas. His work is sometimes described as social surrealism. Andy lives and works in Antwerp.

Photo: Charlie De Keersmacker


The StAnza Slam »

With MC Andy Fierens

Sat 10 March | 22:15 - 23:59 | £4.50/£3.50 | The Byre Theatre, Abbey Street, Auditorium

Poetry Café: Andy Fierens »

Enjoy an entertaining lunch with Andy Fierens

Sun 11 March | 13:00 - 13:50 | £6.75/£5.50 | The Byre Theatre, Abbey Street, Studio Theatre

Border Crossings »

Reading: Paula Jennings from Under A Spell Place, Frank Starik from The Lonely Funeral

Sun 11 March | 11:30 - 12:30 | £4.50/£3.50 | The Undercroft, St John's House, South Street

Poetry on the Street Corner »

Catch a glimpse of our poets taking poetry for a walk this afternoon

Sat 10 March | 10:45 - 15:15 | FREE | Around the festival and around St Andrews

Poetry Cafe: Festival Plenary »

Help us to wrap up StAnza 2018

Sun 11 March | 20:00 - 21:30 | £5.00/£4.00 | The Byre Theatre, Abbey Street, Studio Theatre


Mummies and Daddies

mummies love daddies
daddies love mummies

usually a mummy gives
her love to one daddy
(the converse also applies)
day after day
she just gives her love
to the same daddy
or the same mummy

it sometimes happens
that the one contains
more love
than the other is
          equal to
we say about these others
that he/she is satiated
or quenched
the one (daddy/mummy) then has
a residue of love
and we sometimes call this
the surplus (that is jargon)

pay attention now
what follows is important

love has a limited shelf life
that means
that it can go sour
just like milk

what’s such a daddy or mummy to do
with that surplus?
let it go bad?
let it languish in some corner?

or could they
use it to make
someone else happy?
a daddy or mummy who is lonely?

no right-minded
person can
object to that
you might think


but as you all know
with adults
you never know

imagine mummy gives her surplus
to another daddy
one of those who’s lonely
then there’s a big chance that your
daddy will call your mummy a whore
that means that daddy is not happy
that he

is ventilating his dis-satis-fac-tion

or imagine daddy gives some love
to some lonely mummy or other
then it’s not unlikely that your mummy
runs through the house
screaming strange things
such as i’ll milk you dry
to the last penny
just wait till you’re asleep you bastard
and i’ll smear
tar on your balls

that’s terrible

it sometimes happens that a daddy gives
his surplus to another daddy

and sometimes things get patched up
between mummy and daddy
(but if daddy gives his surplus
to another daddy
usually not)

that’s how it goes with adults

later when you’ve become an adult
and married
or live together with someone
or have a living-apart-together realisation

the chance is pretty big
that you’ll notice sooner or later
that you’ve a surplus
then above all you must make
someone else happy with it

for life is short
and senseless without love

but you’ll probably have to learn
to keep your mouth clamped shut

for silence is golden
and girls you don’t want to be whores do you?
and boys you don’t want tar on your balls do you?

but such worries are for the future
just start by looking up the meaning
of the word jargon

Andy Fierens, tr. by John Irons

Dutch original published in Wonderbras & Pepperspray (De Bezige Bij Amsterdam, 2014)